Two days ago America's seniors, the young, dreamy-eyed college bound hopefuls, took the SAT for what appears to be their final time. In a last chance to preserve their self-dignity, seniors across America marched towards unwitting high school campuses to raise their atrociously low jokes of an SAT Score.
For years, the The College Board has blessed high school students with their convenient test for measuring an individual's life worth. Some mistaken students have lately been harboring dangerous and treacherous, perhaps communistic ideas regarding the SAT, including but not limited to: "it's just a test" and "it only is meant to test your test-taking ability" and especially disturbing and grotesque "don't stress about it, because colleges evaluate you holistically." While it is easy to dismiss this gibberish as youngsters spouting unintelligible nonsense, I still find the need to address such vitriolic haters of America, Capitalism, Freedom and Jesus.
The SAT, at its fundamental level, is an evaluation of an individual's worth to society and inherent value to humanity. A 2400 represents an individual who while may not exactly be comparable to Jesus the savior himself, isn't too far off. A 600 on the other hand, while not exactly comparable to a mongoose in inherent usefulness to society, is actually closer than we think. The SAT represents all that is morally righteous and intrinsically worth defending and fighting for: confusing and misleading questions, excessive ambiguity, and three hours of unadulterated bliss on a Saturday morning. While there has been blasphemous talk of changing and even "improving" the SAT, the aforementioned ideals are not worth violating. I will gladly take 1000 bullets to the pancreas and be stomped on by angry hordes of border-hopping Canadians to defend the SAT and the lofty ideals of Democracy, Jesus, and Apple Pie that it stands for.
That is not to say that critics of the SAT are without reason. Yes, I will reluctantly concede that the SAT should be lengthened to 24 hours without the unreasonable bathroom "breaks" currently in place, and yes, of course it would bring a smile to my face if the SAT considered adding more esoteric technical Latin vocabulary that no one has used in 2300 years. But I will not stand here lay defenseless while critics absurdly charge that the SAT must be modified. Nay, I will fight for what I believe in. As my idol, and the lovely man who inspired this post, Mahatma Gandhi once said, "The SAT is the most legit-ass shit they ever was. Y'all should cherish that shit."
Peace my homies. Believe in yourself and fight for what is true.
For years, the The College Board has blessed high school students with their convenient test for measuring an individual's life worth. Some mistaken students have lately been harboring dangerous and treacherous, perhaps communistic ideas regarding the SAT, including but not limited to: "it's just a test" and "it only is meant to test your test-taking ability" and especially disturbing and grotesque "don't stress about it, because colleges evaluate you holistically." While it is easy to dismiss this gibberish as youngsters spouting unintelligible nonsense, I still find the need to address such vitriolic haters of America, Capitalism, Freedom and Jesus.
The SAT, at its fundamental level, is an evaluation of an individual's worth to society and inherent value to humanity. A 2400 represents an individual who while may not exactly be comparable to Jesus the savior himself, isn't too far off. A 600 on the other hand, while not exactly comparable to a mongoose in inherent usefulness to society, is actually closer than we think. The SAT represents all that is morally righteous and intrinsically worth defending and fighting for: confusing and misleading questions, excessive ambiguity, and three hours of unadulterated bliss on a Saturday morning. While there has been blasphemous talk of changing and even "improving" the SAT, the aforementioned ideals are not worth violating. I will gladly take 1000 bullets to the pancreas and be stomped on by angry hordes of border-hopping Canadians to defend the SAT and the lofty ideals of Democracy, Jesus, and Apple Pie that it stands for.
That is not to say that critics of the SAT are without reason. Yes, I will reluctantly concede that the SAT should be lengthened to 24 hours without the unreasonable bathroom "breaks" currently in place, and yes, of course it would bring a smile to my face if the SAT considered adding more esoteric technical Latin vocabulary that no one has used in 2300 years. But I will not stand here lay defenseless while critics absurdly charge that the SAT must be modified. Nay, I will fight for what I believe in. As my idol, and the lovely man who inspired this post, Mahatma Gandhi once said, "The SAT is the most legit-ass shit they ever was. Y'all should cherish that shit."
Peace my homies. Believe in yourself and fight for what is true.
Finally someone who understands the true meaning of life.
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